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Flailing Wildly
Too much straw, not enough camel.

Corporate-Speak

by Ryan Parman • January 22, 2004 • Personal, Work and Business • 6 comments

I’ve been looking for a full-time web design job for a few months now. I graduated with my BA in Design this past November, and have had a heck of a time trying to find something that is in web design, without applying for positions that sound as intimidating as Sr. Web Development Engineer.

Anyways, while digging through Monster, I came across the following blurb:

Internet savvy individual with the ability to maximize return in acquiring and managing leads through the e-marketing channel. Responsible for working closely with sales, product marketing, and corporate to develop and execute tactical marketing, ensuring that projects meet sales objectives and align with overall brand strategy.

Do people in the corporate world really talk like this? I’m looking for a good job in web design, but “maximize return in acquiring and managing leads” sounds kinda scary. Any tips? Any job leads?

Ryan Parman

Ryan Parman is an entrepreneur, open source evangelist and passionate usability advocate currently living in Seattle. He is the founder and visionary behind SimplePie and CloudFusion, co-founder of WarpShare, member of the RSS Advisory Board, and creator of the AWS SDK for PHP. Ryan's aptly-named blog, Flailing Wildly, is where he writes about ideas longer than 140 characters.

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Discussion

OracleGuy

January 22, 2004

Sadly some do. Another one you’ll hear is “Do more with less and quicker.” I’d just contact them and get a better description on what you are going to be working on. That whole paragraph sounds like it was ran through the jargonator in the old Dilbert Desktop Games pack for PC.

Good luck on finding a job nevertheless!

 

mindlessLemming

January 24, 2004

“and managing leads throught the e-commerce channel”
Gee, my cable TV subscription doesn’t get me that crazy channel. But then again, I don’t think my TV could browse it anyway 😉

 

Ben

January 24, 2004

That’s a job description from the late 90’s. A question you would expect in an interview for this position could be, “How would *you* maximize return through our e-business channel?” That’s when you laugh and walk out the door.

 

eric

January 29, 2004

It’s a bit scary isn’t it ?

Like the job I applied (and was turned away from by an HR person during the first round interviews because of lack of experience) that demanded 15 years experience with MPG4 and Real Video (each!) along with 5 years experience with WindowsXP and a minimum of 3 Years experience with MS Server 2003.

Unfortunately- (1) quite often the people writing the job requirements notice has very little to no _real_ knowledge of the job or at least it’s day to day operation, and (2) all too often you don’t get the chance to talk to anyone in the department until you get through the first round or two of interviews with Human Resource people who have absolutely NO knowledge of the real requirements except what the Req says (see item #1) Makes you want to scream…

 

Ryan Parman

January 29, 2004

That’s pretty boneheaded of them. WinXP came out in 2001… three years ago. Who’d have 5 years experience? I dunno. Morons. Sounds like a Dilbert company. =)

 

web designer

January 30, 2004

Sounds like e-mail campaigns to me. Not spam if the company is dealing with an option in list that they generated. As you know, email can be tracked like a stripper at a bachelor party!

 

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