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Flailing Wildly
Too much straw, not enough camel.

How To Keep A Healthy Level of Insanity

by Ryan Parman • October 14, 2005 • Just for Fun • 2 comments

For those wondering about more regular updates, they’re coming. :) Until then, I got this email from a friend not too long ago. It’s one of my favorites because I’ve actually done some of these.

  1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)
  3. Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
  4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
  6. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
  7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  9. In the memo field of all your checks, write ‘for sexual favors.’
  10. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
  11. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
  12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
  13. Don’t use any punctuation
  14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  15. Ask people what sex they are.
  16. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
  17. Sing Along at the opera.
  18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
  19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
  20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.
  21. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
  22. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
  23. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies
  24. Call the psychic hotline and just say, “Guess”
  25. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
  26. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won!”, “I Won!” “3rd time this week!!!”
  27. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
  28. Tell your boss, “It’s not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do”
  29. Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go”
  30. Everytime you see a broom yell “Honey, your mother is here”
Ryan Parman

Ryan Parman is an entrepreneur, open source evangelist and passionate usability advocate currently living in Seattle. He is the founder and visionary behind SimplePie and CloudFusion, co-founder of WarpShare, member of the RSS Advisory Board, and is currently with Amazon. Ryan's aptly-named blog, Flailing Wildly, is where he writes about ideas longer than 140 characters.

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Discussion

Lukas (deluks)

October 15, 2005

Well, now I’m extremely curious about what of these things you’ve done ;)

Geoffrey Sneddon

October 15, 2005

I’m also wondering, even though I know one of them ;)

Comments for this post are now closed.

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