Eight things you may or may not know about me. (This list was inspired by my friend Liz who also wrote such a list.)
- MY LOVE LANGUAGE (FROM THE BOOK “THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES”) IS “WORDS OF AFFIRMATION”.
I used to think it was “Quality Time”, but then I realized that since I never have the opportunity to spend much time with most of my friends, I’d probably be pretty depressed most of the time. More recently I realized it was “Words of Affirmation” as that is how I both express and feel affection, and “Quality Time” is likely my secondary love language because I find that I thrive on close personal relationships with other people.
I’m definitely NOT “Touch” (it’s likely the last of my 5), although two of my closest friends are. It took me a while to get used to the idea of hugging my best friend, but that’s how he expresses and feels affection. Over time it’s grown on me with him and a few others, but times where somebody touched my shoulder or grabbed my hand for whatever reason have made me feel particularly awkward.
- I’M THE BIGGEST “CALVIN AND HOBBES” FAN ON THE FACE OF THE ENTIRE PLANET.
Eric (my BFF — yes, I said BFF) would probably beg to differ, but he’d be wrong. It really is me. C&H changed how I saw the world at a very pivotal point in my life, and I believe it actually made me a better person. I’ve told my kids the very same things that Calvin’s dad told him (“you were unceremoniously dropped down the chimeny by a big, hairy pterodactyl”, “it’s windy because the trees are sneezing”). Besides all of that, I have every C&H book ever produced (except for the complete collection, which I’m hoping to get soon), and I have 15 original C&H comics cut out from the newspaper (16 if you count the one I gave to Eric when I moved away).
- BETWEEN MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND AT 15 AND MY MARRIAGE AT 21 I’D DATED 12.1 PEOPLE.
These are the very special ladies who’ve been in my life at one point or another. Chronologically, speaking: Claire S. (May – Oct 1995), Michelle B. (Nov 1995), Heather H. (Feb – Mar 1996), Amber M. (Apr – July 1996), Emily B. (Jun – Aug 1996; we never dated, but we were both interested in each other and we spent a TON of time together over 3 months. This is the 0.1.), Alyssa B. (Oct 1996), Renee T. (Nov 1996), Kristen P. (on and off from Feb 1997 – Nov 1999), Aimee B. (on and off from May 1997 – Aug 1999), Sarah C. (May 1998 – Sept 1998; Mar 1999 – July 1999), Liz S. (Dec 1999 – Mar 2000), Amanda F. (Apr 2000 – Sept 2000), Steph L. (July 2000 – Oct 2000), Sarah C. (again, Nov 2000 – Present).
- I’M NOT EASILY IMPRESSED, AND I’M FREQUENTLY BORED/DEPRESSED/FEEL ALONE.
Some people are easily impressed. I’m not. I spend time with some of the smartest, most talented leader-types alive today. It takes more than acting smug when you answer a trivia question correctly to impress me.
Some people struggle with depression. I’m one of them. People who don’t struggle with depression wonder why we don’t just get over it. If it were really that simple, we wouldn’t be depressed dumbass. For me, I thrive on close relationships with other people I care about, but I live at least an hour away from the people who are closest to me. Because of this (and everybody’s busy schedules), I don’t usually have that emotional need filled… and that can be hard to deal with. My wife and kids fill the wife and kid roles, but that’s not the same thing as the ill-maintained friendships I have. On the other hand, I’m in the process of developing some cool new friendships here in town, so hopefully I won’t feel this way for too much longer. 😉
- NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS AFTER 2:00 AM.
This is more advice than something about me. I’ve had more than one instance where after 2am my better judgment gets up and walks away while I stick around to make really bad decisions all by myself. I’ve already destroyed one relationship and almost destroyed 2 more because I was left to my own post-2am stupidities. P.S. It gets even worse when alcohol is involved, so I try not to drink much.
- I HAVE A TECHNICALLY-INCLINED INFJ (INTROVERTED, INTUITING, FEELING, JUDGING) PERSONALITY TYPE. I’M ALSO A TEXTBOOK SCORPIO.
Here’s a great INFJ description: http://typelogic.com/infj.html. Read the whole thing. It describes me flawlessly. If you don’t feel like reading something else, here’s a snippet:
INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally “doers” as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.
INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people — a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world.
On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious “soul mates.” While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent “givers.” As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood — particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.
I’m also a Scorpio in that if you’re cool with me, then I’m cool with you… but don’t dare cross me. It’s been a rare occasion when I’ve unleashed my inner scorpion, but those who’ve felt it know what I’m talking about (of course they’re likely not reading this). In the end, I married a textbook Leo. Sometimes things are fantastic and other times it’s death incarnate.
- MY MOST SIGNIFICANT EX-GIRLFRIEND’S BIRTHDAY, MY WIFE’S BIRTHDAY, AND MY ANNIVERSARY ARE ALL ON THE SAME DATE.
My most significant pre-marriage relationship was with Kristen P. Turns out that her birthday is the same as my wife’s. We got married on my wife’s 21st birthday. Basically I only have to buy one present, but it has to be a big one. I don’t really talk to Kristen anymore, as that relationship ended up exploding in a fantastically gigantic ball of flames on my 20th birthday and I don’t think she ever wants to speak to me again for the rest of her entire life. 🙂
- I’M PRETTY WELL-BALANCED BETWEEN THE CREATIVE AND THE TECHNICAL.
For many years I wanted to grow up to be a professional musician. Then in 1997 I got my first computer and discovered web design. Web design was the perfect balance between the creative (design) and the technical (programming). Music, writing, and visual composition are all passions of mine. So are the web and technology. So is usability. I’ve spent the last 10 years focused primarily in the web and growing my skills there. Over the past 2 years I’ve been focused on making technology as human-friendly as possible. Over the past few months I’ve finally gotten back to my music. I’ve got so many ideas for arrangements on some songs I wrote 10-15 years ago, script and production ideas for videos/movies/plays, and I’d love to be able to oversee the use of human-friendly technology to enable people to explore their creative depths. I plan to see these things realized one day, beginning sometime very soon (MFM ~ I’ve got some lyrics for you).